when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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