Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
