we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
