god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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