he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize