i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize