Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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