So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
