when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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