dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
