Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
