Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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