Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
