Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
