hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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