I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Farmville is her only friend.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
