been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
