No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
