I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
