i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
