omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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