I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
nutella sex= disaster
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
