He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
