I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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