Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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