I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
