Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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