4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize