I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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