Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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