school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
