i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
