Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize