Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This baby is an asshole
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
