You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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