there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
