Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
