Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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