We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
