Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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