Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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