Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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