So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just gargled with NyQuil
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
