I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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