My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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