ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
