Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Who died my cat blue again?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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