i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize