im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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