we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
