My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize