how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
