turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize