I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
