respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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