Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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