hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
