I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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