After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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