K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
